You know it's going to be a bad day when:
#1 - you wake up face down in a gutter.
#2 - you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
#3 - you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
#4 - there's a 60 Minutes crew waiting on your doorstep.
#5 - you want to put on the clothes you wore out last but there aren't any.
#6 - you turn on the news and they are showing exit routes out of the city.
#7 - your twin forgets your birthday.
#8 - you wake up to discover that your water bed has busted... then you remember you don't have a water bed.
#9 - the bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
#10 - cannibles run away from you in the street.
#11 - your car horn goes off accidently and stays stuck all the way up the freeway while you are driving behind a hearse.
#12 - your boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.
#13 - you walk all the way to work only to discover that your dress is tucked into your undies.
#14 - your blind date turns out to be your ex.
#15 - you put both contact lenses in the same eye.
#16 - your husband says "good morning Jill" and your name isn't Jill...
#17 - your pet rock snaps at you.